Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Life before 30...

As my dirty thirty approaches, I am forced to step back and look at my life. 

Who I am, where I am, and everything in between. 

Let's go back further first. Back to before I was even 18. I had big dreams for myself! I wanted to be a nurse, even back then. I wanted a bunch of kids and to be married to the perfect husband. I wanted to laugh often and love deeply, I wanted a life of freedom. 

Now as I sit here 29 years 11 months and 16 days.... I'm speechless. Scared. Sad. I feel like my life has flown by and I haven't accomplished much, outside of my three beautiful children. My anxiety, and possibly depression, have taken over my life so much that I hardly recognize myself. 

I never knew what anxiety was. Or at least I thought I didn't. Looking back anxiety has been a factor of the bigger part of my life, even as a child. I can't blame all of my setbacks on my anxiety, but I know if my life wasn't ruled by it so much I would be happier, laugh more, live more! 

So my biggest goal for my 30th year of life, is to conquer my anxiety. Take control of my life- and finally be me again!

That and blog more. 

Let's face it. Talking things out, even if it's behind a screen, helps.