Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Life before 30...

As my dirty thirty approaches, I am forced to step back and look at my life. 

Who I am, where I am, and everything in between. 

Let's go back further first. Back to before I was even 18. I had big dreams for myself! I wanted to be a nurse, even back then. I wanted a bunch of kids and to be married to the perfect husband. I wanted to laugh often and love deeply, I wanted a life of freedom. 

Now as I sit here 29 years 11 months and 16 days.... I'm speechless. Scared. Sad. I feel like my life has flown by and I haven't accomplished much, outside of my three beautiful children. My anxiety, and possibly depression, have taken over my life so much that I hardly recognize myself. 

I never knew what anxiety was. Or at least I thought I didn't. Looking back anxiety has been a factor of the bigger part of my life, even as a child. I can't blame all of my setbacks on my anxiety, but I know if my life wasn't ruled by it so much I would be happier, laugh more, live more! 

So my biggest goal for my 30th year of life, is to conquer my anxiety. Take control of my life- and finally be me again!

That and blog more. 

Let's face it. Talking things out, even if it's behind a screen, helps. 


Monday, July 1, 2013

Well Hello there Stranger

Yes I know, I've seemed to fall off the face of the earth. Having a third kid will do that to you. We have been SO busy with our life, and I've finally realized that even though I barely have time for myself, this would be a good place to fall back on. I know at some point my kids will be busy on their own and I will miss all of this. So its time to get crackin' and what better time to post then after a BIG celebration! So stay tuned ;) .....

New place

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Say what???

I had my ultrasound today.

Tim had to work, so I went by myself. As soon as she put the wand on my belly, there was the money shot. Clear as day, there was BOY parts. Holy Cow! I was so shocked and remained there through the whole day. I still kind of am, I really cant beleive it.

Let me explain. From the beginning, I wanted a boy. Khloe is such a handful, and she really is my little princess. I was scared that if we had another girl my world would just not be right. I didnt want to lose the close relationship I have with my daughter. And because of my feelings, I knew it would be best if I warmed up to the idea for the next 4 months or so. So I kept telling myself it was a girl in my head. I thought about the cute little hairbows and clips I could purchase for BOTH of my girls. And how I could decorate Khloes room for the both of them REALLY girly! Honestly, I was finally warming up to the idea. And then this happens. Guess what? I wasnt ready or prepared for it. LOL I never let myself think we could have a boy. Although its what I wanted.

So my princess will be my only princess for the rest of my life! LOL And I will have the two boys Ive always wanted!!

Now I guess I can start selling the 20 bags of girl clothes Ive been saving "Just in case". LOL

I have another ultrasound at the end of August. Baby wouldnt sit still so they had a hard time getting some measurements, so we will go back and get those. But he also was just like his brother and sister and didnt give a good profile so I ahve to wait for that too :/ but hey, the bright side is I get another ultrasound!! LOL

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Zoo Day

Even though it was incredibly hot out, we ventured the zoo.

Of course, the kids loved every minute of it. I swear they could go every day of the year, and never get sick of that place. The prices of food make me sick every time we go there. LOL

I do have to admit, I get a kick out of seeing them so happy. And if I have to pay $25 to do it- so be it.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Fourth of July!!

It was so nice having my sister and her kids here with us!

We went over to my moms house for dinner and got some fireworks for the kids and planned to watch the meridian fireworks from my moms house.

The kids had SO much fun with the fireworks, they didnt even care about the big ones from the speedway LOL

And this picture craxks me up, because it looks like it is touching Tim's leg- but it really isnt. LOL This kid is dangerous!!!

And these girls will be heartbreakers someday...

But of course there is no dating until they are both 28.

Happy birthday America!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Happy Birthday Big Boy!!

I cannot beleive I have a 6 year old! I mean really!

The little (or should i say big?) man woke up and had his special birthday breakfast, made especially from his momma!

Then he waited until Saturday for his birthday party with all of his friends. I do have to say that a June birthday might be much easier to plan (compared to a December birthday), but I had to give invitations out in May and only 3 kids from his class showed up.

here is his birthday cake, made by his Momma.

Im no betty crocker, but the inside looks a lot better than the outside LOL

he really had so much fun with all of his friends!!

And last but not least, our little family...

Happy birthday TC, you have blessed my life more than you will ever know!!